why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
