franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
