i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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