It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
