Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
