No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
