New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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