So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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