I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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