I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
