you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
