we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
God, you're like boner-b-gone
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
