somebody snuck up and got me drunk
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
