At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There's always time for handjobs
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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