Ambien. No doubt about it.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize