I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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