Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
