maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Randomize
