cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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