Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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