Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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