Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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