He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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