If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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