NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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