I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
