**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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