Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
