I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it's like heaven, but drunker
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
