sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
