i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
