she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize