I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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