Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
this hospital has no fireball
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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