problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can you bring me the toilet please
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
