don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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