There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
