I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
