i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
home. puking in laundry basket.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
