so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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