I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
