Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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