You just made me feel so damn special
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
