i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
