Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
