wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize