i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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