babies were throwing up all over the place
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
