I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
