Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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