don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
