I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
