you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
