Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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