I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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