so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
