Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
it was like eating out sand paper
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
is it fun? or sober?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize