The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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