i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
