I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize