I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
