Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I showed him my bush... on skype.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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