In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
