oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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