Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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