I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I didn't notice because vodka
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i out mim tonsoeep
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