I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
